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IN MEMORIAM - "Vita Mutatur Non Tollitur" RETURN TO MEMORIAL WALL

Bernard "Bernie" Barry

 10/25/1940 - 08/28/2019
Class photo from 1957 - Class 3H
 
Bernie died peacefully at home in his waterfront Pompano Beach condo on August 28, 2019. He was born on October 25, 1940, in Jersey City, New Jersey and is predeceased by his parents Bernetta and Patrick Barry and his only sibling Patrick Barry. He was the loving brother-in-law of Charlotte and uncle of nephews and nieces, Patrick, Brendan, Amanda, Adrienne, and Noel Barry and grandnieces and nephew, Bridget and Josephine Barry and Campbell and Declan O’Neal. He was raised in a large extended Irish family and is survived by numerous cousins.

Bernie lived on Cape Cod for many years and was the successful owner of the Old Kemah Tavern in Harwich Port. Bernie attended St. Aloysius Elementary School, where he was an Altar Boy, St. Peter’s Prep, and was a 1965 graduate of St. Peter’s College. Bernie was a US Army medic and veteran.

Bernie had a rare magnetic, authentic, and charismatic personality and during his life maintained friendships from his school days as well as the many friends, he made as an adult and kept over his lifetime. He was an avid sportsman who loved skiing, handball, and boxing, and was proud of a daily workout routine that included numerous push-ups. He rode a motorcycle, backpacked across Europe, sailed the French Canals with his brother, and was fearless in his pursuits. He was a gracious host at the Old Kemah and worked alongside his nephews Patrick and Brendan as well as other relatives employed as summer help. Bernie always had a great story to tell and never left home without his Lacoste “croc.”

Bernie will be remembered for his humor, smile, energy, loyalty, great storytelling, and his willingness to try anything. He was always fun to be with and as one friend said at hearing of his death, “he left a hole in the universe.” Seamus, a cousin from Ireland, offered this prayer: “Ar dheis De go raibh a anam dilis, May his loyal soul be at the right hand side of God.”

A Celebration of Life at his Irish Wake will follow.

Bernie Whalen
 The last paragraph of Bernie's In Memoriam mentions his willingness to try anything. Yes, he was willing to try anything. I had a phone conversation with him a few years ago and he was most proud and excited that he just finished sky diving in Florida with a few of his relatives. He said it was one of the highlights of his life. Yes, he was willing to try anything. May he rest in peace.
 
Vince Grillo
I was not a close friend of Bernie's, but his quick wit and ability to see the comical side of things was what impressed me. That and his loyalty as a friend is the basis of his life-long friendships with many '58ers for so many years.

When I caught up to the Prep many years after graduation, as part of a report that Eddie Burke sent in to the Blog, I got a photo of Bernie with a mug that Randy explained he appropriated from a frat party at NCE, a year or two after we graduated. The smile on his face brought back memories of his sense of humor from back in the day. And as many of his friends will agree, he never lost it.

Rest in peace, Bernie...
 
Bob Filoramo
Some time back in June, my cousin Eddie Burke sent me an email - short, simple: "Bernie's down to 105 pounds." No need to explain which Bernie - there is/was only one, something of a legend to a wide range of people.

I had no idea he was sick. I had not seen or spoken to Bernie in well over 50 years. I got his phone number from Eddie, texted him and said, "Hey Bern, I'm praying for you. God loves you and so do I." I didn't know if he was lucid or able to talk. Within minutes my phone rang. It was Bernie. We yakked, laughed, and laughed some more. He said, " I guess nobody thought I would live this long!"

This was the beginning of a renewed friendship, the first of many phone calls the next couple of months, where we rehashed old stories, adventures and laughed like crazy over some of the stuff we did, marveling that we somehow avoided jail time. During one of those conversations I told him that a lot of guys posted some very funny comments about his sky-diving adventure. He had no idea. However, he told me the only reason he did it was to please his nephews because Bernie had a fear of heights!

There are stories aplenty about Bernie. I will limit myself to just two. First, as I was planning to marry Nancy Marcello who was well aware of Bernie's "wild-man" proclivities, she did not want him to come to our reception, fearing he might "over-do it". However, Bernie was one of my best friends then; he was coming to the reception! Somehow, I managed to convince Nancy that I would have Bernie vow to behave himself. Reluctantly, she agreed; Bernie agreed, and we had a great time. Bernie was a model citizen.

Not long after we were married, we had a Halloween costume party with all of our friends. Bernie, of course was invited, but I doubted he would make it. He had been in a serious auto accident where he went through the windshield. Among other injuries, his face was badly cut in a number of places. He had as many as 200 stitches to put his face back together. Naturally, we were amazed when he showed up, but even more amazed that he had come as Carmine Basilio, a fighter whose face was a patch-work of scars, lumps, a map of his many wars in the ring. Bernie's face looked like a jig-saw puzzle with a piece or two missing. Once we got over our shock, we settled to having a blast....not sure who drove Bernie home.

After that, life happened; we scattered in different directions until that email from Eddie. I called about twice a week form June on until our last phone call on the day before he died. He could barely speak, but he managed to say, "getting closer", meaning death. My last words to him were, 'I love you Bern. I'll see you in Heaven."

I thank God for those great conversations we had those last months of his life and that Eddie was able to visit him at least twice, resupplying his Jim Beam, which helped him to sleep. May he rest in peace!
 

Capt. Bill Morrissy
We were friends from grammar school. A great guy.
 
Randy Orlowski
His obit and Bob's description capture his essence well; charismatic, daring, uninhibited and always entertaining. My nephew referred to
Bernie as "the Ta Dah guy", always ready for the spotlight. I tell my grandsons that their best friends through life will be some of the
classmates they're now meeting at their Jesuit high school. Bernie is a prime example; sixty-six years of continued contact with any lapses
in months, not years. He was one of my parent's favorites and he frequently played handball with my uncle at the Bergen Avenue Y.

His adventures and close calls could fill a book and his weekend led escapades were Monday's topics de jure: pizza fights at the Keyhole
off Newark Ave., Staten Island clashes with locals, calls to our parents from the Greenville precinct.

More than anything, Bernie was a true and loyal friend and would go out of his way along with Ed Burke and John Connors to honor my
parents at their funerals and take part in my son's wedding in Maryland. Besides phone calls and some short notes I was lucky enough to
meet up with Bernie on the Cape, in San Francisco where I received an assignment and we briefly crossed paths, three times when he lived
in Florida as well as at NJ reunions.

I told Bernie one time that I was proud of his accomplishment in going into business for himself unlike some of us holding on to corporate
security blankets. Uncharacteristically, he got a little choked up and I could see that my words meant a lot to him. He suffered quite a bit the last couple of years with severe neuropathy and was thankful the VA was a good source of help.

Those of us that knew him will continue to miss him.